Pop Culture
While I’m incredibly slow when it comes to binge-watching TV shows, I’m a master at re-watching the shows I love. I recently finished my 3rd (or maybe 4th, I’m not sure) re-watch of one of my favorite shows: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (2015-2019). Now, if you read this post from a few years ago, you already know about my obsession with, and connection to, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. But even though I’ve changed a lot since the first time I watched the show, I feel that I relate to it now even more than I did back then.
Now, I could go on and on about why I love this show so much, but instead I’m going to make this post short, sweet, and to the point. And the point is…the music is the absolute best part of any episode of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. And how could it not be? All of the songs were written by Rachel Bloom (the writer and star of the show), Jack Dolgan, and the late Adam Schlesinger (the guy who wrote the top-tier MILF anthem, “Stacy’s Mom”). And, since you all know how much I love a good list, I’m here today to talk about my favorite songs from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. Throughout its 4 seasons, the show featured 157 original songs. Now, it would be ridiculous for me to discuss all of them, so I’ll include just my top 15. Also, please keep in mind that I’m not saying these are the best songs from the show. They’re just my own personal favorites. Also also, this show is definitely not for everyone! There is a lot of innuendo and some cussing when they can get away with it. So while it’s one of my favorite shows, I absolutely do not think that everyone should watch it. Anyway, on to the list! 1. “Let’s Generalize About Men” (Season 3 Episode 1) Favorite Lyric: “All men are emotionally stunted / When asked how they feel, every man’s always grunted / And why do men never listen and only think about themselves / As opposed to women / Who always listen and never think about themselves? / Ooh, I hear ya girl!” 2. “You Stupid Bitch” (Season 1 Episode 11) Favorite Lyric: “I was so close to Paradise / But now the only thing I’m close to is defeat / These shards are a metaphor for my soul / Won’t stop the self-pity cause I’m on a roll / Yes, Josh completes me, but how can that be / When there’s no me left to complete?” 3. “Love Kernels” (Season 2 Episode 1) Favorite Lyric: “I know when you say, ‘I wanna go to Colorado sometime’ / It means you’re thinkin’ ‘bout the future with me / I know a 3 a.m. text means / I was in your dreams before you woke up to pee / And I know you care when you say / ‘I’m going to a movie tonight, my friend bailed, wanna come?’ / It means I’m the most important person in his life / Next to his friend.” 4. “Strip Away My Conscience” (Season 3 Episode 2) Favorite Lyric: “So tell me ‘bout your sins / And shock me with their luridness / Let me be your pupil / Let me choke on your cocksuredness.” 5. “Hey, Sexy Stranger” (Season 1 Episode 4) Favorite Lyric: “Hey, sexy stranger, let’s go to my place / And please don’t harvest my kidney / Don’t give me that incredulous face / I saw a movie like that on Lifetime.” 6. “Feelin’ Kinda Naughty Tonight” (Season 1 Episode 2) Favorite Lyric: “I wanna kill you and wear your skin like a dress / But then also have you see me in the dress / And be like ‘OMG, you look so cute in my skin!’” 7. “The Sexy Getting-Ready Song” (Season 1 Episode 1) Favorite Lyric (not so much a lyric, as a spoken section in the middle by guest star Nipsey Hussle): “This is how you get ready? This is some…this is horrifying, like a scary movie or something. Like some nasty-ass patriarchal bullshit. You know what? I gotta go apologize to some bitches. I’m forever changed after what I’ve just seen.” 8. “You Go First” (Season 2 Episode 7) Favorite Lyric: “Go ahead and say you’re kind of sorry! / So I can say ‘Oh, no, no, no, please!’ / Just like I rehearsed! / If you open the door / I’ll apologize so much more / Yes, I will! / But you go first.” 9. “Let’s Have Intercourse” (Season 2 Episode 11) Favorite Lyric: “Unfortunately, I want to have sex with you / I don’t know what happened / Maybe you lost some weight / For some reason, you’re now on the top of my to-do list / Let’s get this over with / So I can focus on other tasks.” 10. “I’m the Villain in My Own Story” (Season 1 Episode 14) Favorite Lyric: “I’m the villain in my own story / I’m the witch in my own tale / Though I insist I’m the protagonist / It’s clear that my soul is up for sale.” 11. “Face Your Fears” (Season 1 Episode 3) Favorite Lyric: “If a bear runs at you in the woods, don’t run away / Look it deep in the eyes, put your hand on its chest / And say, ‘Bear, I’m not afraid!’ / If you’re in a burning building and smoke is everywhere / Keep calm, take a deep breath and stay right there.” 12. “It Was a Shit Show” (Season 2 Episode 4) Favorite Lyric: “Chernobyl next to us looks like a campfire / Hurricane Katrina was just bad weather / We have chemistry, of course, but that’s a formula for divorce / A play about pieces of feces is what we are together.” 13. “Settle for Me” (Season 1 Episode 4) Favorite Lyric: “So won’t you settle for me? / Come and settle for me / Say yes or no before I choke on all this swallowed pride / I have no problem being picked out from the bottom / If he’s your broken condom / I’m Plan B! / So lower those expectations and settle for me.” 14. “Oh My God, I Think I Like You” (Season 1 Episode 17) Favorite Lyric: “Are there condoms that can prevent these feelings? / Is there spermicidal lubricant that can kill / The fluttering in my heart? / Is there an IUD / That can stop the image of you and me / Getting married on a hillside, surrounded by ducks / And then we get into a rowboat? / Oh my God, I think I like you!” 15. “We Tapped That Ass (All Over This House)” (Season 2 Episode 4) Favorite Lyric: “On the stove / Over the sink / And sort of in the fridge one time, I think / And then we hit the back patio / That’s where we hit your back pati…Oh! / We tapped that ass all over this house.” Overall, I probably liked the first two seasons the best, mostly because Original Greg was my favorite (though I did also learn to love Nathaniel). However, this list was hard to make because I loved so many of the songs from this show. So if you’ve already watched Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, or decide to watch it, let me know which songs you like the most!
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