thoughts
To the boy who did the right thing:
When I was 15, I thought you were perfect. I thought I wanted you desperately. I thought you and I were destined to be together forever. I didn’t care that you were 20 years old. Now that I’m in my 30s, I cringe to think of the way I attempted to throw my teenage self at someone who was already an adult. I also think of the myriad of ways this relationship could have gone horribly wrong. After all, I am now the teacher who waves a literal red flag at my students when they tell me about issues in their relationships. But things turned out fine. Because of you. Because you did nothing wrong. Instead of indulging my crush and leading me on, you gently explained that our age difference would make a romantic relationship inappropriate. Instead of letting me follow you into your car late one night, you firmly told me that you were going home and that I needed to do the same, because I absolutely was not getting in with you. Instead of reciprocating my shameless flirting, you encouraged me to turn my attention to boys my own age. Nothing ever happened between us. You let me down easy, but in a way that left no room for doubt. You broke my heart, but in a way that allowed me to quickly put the pieces back together and move on. I know that my story is unusual. I essentially set myself up to be taken advantage of by a man who could have done what he wanted and walked away, claiming I’d asked for it. But I got out unscathed. Because in my case, you were a real man. You knew that a relationship with me would have been wrong, even potentially predatory, and you turned it down without hesitation. I’ll never know if you genuinely weren’t interested or you were just being a truly good guy. And really, it doesn’t matter. Whatever your reasons, I thank you.
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Jacinta M. CarterProfessional Book Nerd Archives
March 2019
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